Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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