it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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