were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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