guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
