i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
