there was a trapeze. enough said
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
