HIV tests are more positive than that guy
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
