margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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