No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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