A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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