I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
