so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think my moral compass just broke
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
