He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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