He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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