We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
