I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
