Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
