i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
