remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
