She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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