dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
