Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just want to make out with him forever
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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