Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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