seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
