apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
