NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
