You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
