He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
