we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
