I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
