When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
