I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
