Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
