ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
