K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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