She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
