I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
