I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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