They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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