You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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