508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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