so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
