I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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