He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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