Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
