Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
