well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
