Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
