break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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