i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
