i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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