I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
