Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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