I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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