Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
worst night to have a conscience
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
