I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
